The Incredible Teenage Brain: scaffolding to support teen brain development

 Bettina Hohnen, Jan Gilmour and Tara Murphy's book, The Incredible Teenage Brain: Everything You Need to Know to Unlock Your Teen's Potential, is a a great read. The book discusses the neurology around teen brains and how they are different from both children and adults brains. Further, it provides advice on how to help your teen deal with the challenging social and educational landscape they see on a daily basis. They discuss how to help teens care for their brain and optimize performance (see my previous post).

Much of what they do that is different than other tomes I have read is to provide guidance on how to talk with your teen to optimize their thinking and feeling brains. The final chapter wraps it up in a great mnemonic to help adults keep in mind how to approach their young people when they are in a highly emotional state: May the force be with you Luke.

Maybe this situation pushed your buttons. When your buttons are pushed you react in a suboptimal manner. Be aware of your buttons and work to reduce your emotion. If you approach something in a state of emotional arousal, it will only feed it in your child.

the behavior needs decoding, what are they really saying. Just like with toddlers, teens' behavior is communication. Try to read what is beneath the behavior. What is the message they are sending?

force yourself to wait while the emotions settle. My children had a principal who was awesome with this. There was a bench and his therapy dog in the main office. Children sent down would wait there to speak with them. He kept an eye on them and only pulled them in to conversation when their bodies were calm. Emotional brains are not thinking brains. Do not try to use logic, they won't hear it. Wait for them to come down, then you can talk.

be alongside, be with them. Co-regulation is a thing. If you can sit next to them and be calm, it will help them calm. Depending on your child, holding their hand or rubbing their back may be helpful. Sharing emotional experiences is a good thing and you share it with them. This is not a time to talk, just be with them in a calm state.

withhold your advice form now and just listen. Just listen, no advice, no problem solving. You can demonstrate active listening ( paraphrase back to see if you understand the situation). 

you describe the emotion if they can't. Help them to label their emotions. This is especially useful for kids with ADHD or ASD. Surprisingly naming emotions is a very challenging task for many people. They may not have the vocabulary or understanding of what the emotion looks and feels like. Use a soft approach, "It seems like you are -----." Strong denials may mean you nailed it or that you have it wrong. Puzzle it out after a break.

Luke (look) for a suitable time to talk it out later, think about solutions and learning points. Later, on their schedule talk about the situation. Different situations need different cooling off periods. At a later non-emotionally charged time talk about what happened and problem solve how to deal better with the situation. Let them identify possible ideas, do not feed them solutions. Becoming an adult means you need to have space to try and figure it out. Your job is to provide support and understanding.

New skills take time to learn. You will backslide and mess it up but keep trying and you will get better.

A great book to help adults understand and support teens.

The incredible teenage brain: optimal leaning and mental health

 Bettina Hohnen, Jan Gilmour and Tara Murphy's book, The Incredible Teenage Brain: Everything You Need to Know to Unlock Your Teen's Potential, is a a great read. Although I'm not through it all, the last two chapters spoke to me. As parents we want to optimize our children's health and learning potential. In order to do that, certain things need to be done. This book addresses them and discusses how to go about achieving them; making changes and dealing with challenges that occur as children reach adolescence. I have written about these before, the needs are not newly understood, but this text's add is suggestions for helping your teen make the changes necessary to achieve the best results possible.

First, nutrition. We all know that children need a varied diet. Vegetables, although not often favorites, are a must in a health diet. Fast food is not good for us or our kids. Caffeine is particularly  not good for children. It is associated with sleep disruptions, increased heart rate, acid reflux, nervousness, dental issues, obesity, decreased bone density, increased mental health concerns, challenges with emotional regulation, poor growth, and over 5000 cases a year toxicity. Teens should have at most 1 coffee in a day (about 100mg) and that not every day (Sun Pediatrics). Teens will do what you do. The same impacts are seen on adults. Curbing caffeine, especially in energy drinks is important. We know all this, how do we make the change? Model it, model it, model it. Family dinners help kids eats better, especially if the adults eat better. Rules can be that they need to be present at the table and must try a little of the vegetable matter. Limit sweets. Drinks can be water or milk. Protein in the morning is important for the body to have the components to build the neurotransmitters related to sleep- melatonin. Magnesium may help with relaxation. Talk your child's doctor and or a nutritionist to get guidance.

AN ADHD caveat. Evidence exists that shows caffeine can reduce some symptoms of ADHD. Properly supervised medication is a better choice, but something might be better than nothing. That said, all caffeine should be stopped at least 6 hours before bedtime to limit sleep issues.

Second, sleep. Teens need sleep. The whole circadian rhythm change in teens is real but minor. The bigger issue is social jet lag. Teens stay up to socialize on social media, play video games, accomplish homework and ruminate on life challenges. They are allowed to radically swing their sleep schedules on weekends and vacations which cause huge jet lag issues. Imagine flying across the country  with a three hour, or more, time difference, every week. Just about the time your body gets used to the new time, you change it up. You will not feel rested or well. Small changes (ex. bed time at 11 not 10 on weekends and awake by 9 not 7) will help keep them from being too off track. To make it work, they need to talk about how they feel Monday when they were up late all weekend and sleeping in versus Thursday when they have had a consistent schedule for a few days. Keep all screens out of bedrooms at night. They are an attractive nuisance. Buy an alarm clock, they are remarkably affordable). If they need white noise, get a separate device. Inadequate sleep will mimic ADHD or make it harder for people with it to manage their symptoms. 

If your children are too busy to get homework done before crazy late, cut things out. Talk with teachers about additional support or the homework problem. (Rule of thumb- 10 minutes per grade. If it is more than this, it is too much for the child.)  They don't need that extra club, honors class, sport or volunteer activity. They will still be able to establish a college application that is quality without sacrificing their mental health or their actual learning of material.

Rumination is a particular challenge. As adults we are familiar with this challenge of minds being too busy to sleep. Try to minimize conflict in the evening. Try to keep communications open so that you can help with social concerns before bed. Teach that teens see things more negatively at night. Keep the screens away at night. They just add social drama, mental stimulation, and heightened concerns of all sorts.

Third exercise. All kids should get 60 minutes of exercise every day. Studies have shown that this helps children with ADHD manage their behavior, especially if it is outside. Exercise helps kids deal with energy and negative emotions. Anxiety is a huge concern that can be addressed, in part, through exercise. When students put this kind of work in on a daily basis it raises their grades. Exercise also helps kids manage their weight and reduces rates of heart issues both as children and when they grow up as adults.

Finally feeling loved, safe and secure. One of the basic needs for humans is love. Show kids you love them, even when they are being pesky, nasty, disrespectful beasts. Do not stoop to their level. Love them in spite of it all. When they get loud, get quiet. Learn to disengage when they want to fight. Give them kudos for the things they do well- all kids, even when they are at their worst, do good. Essure their environment is safe. Work with social services and school if you are having trouble with housing, medical care or food. People are there to help and not judge. Kids do need more than love, but that is indeed a big part of the puzzle.

Executive function toolkit: getting things done and scheduling

 

Executive functioning (EF) is the ability to plan and manage one’s life. It includes things like time management, task initiation, problem solving, verbal reasoning, persistence, attention and emotional regulation. Many people with EF challenges struggle to get things done.

 

1. The "Non-Negotiable" Schedule Trick 📅
   Just like basketball practice or doctor appointments, study time goes directly into their calendar. Here's why this works: When study time is treated as important as other activities, it's no longer optional. No more "I'll do it later" excuses!

 

2.      Time robbers “The concept of “time robbers” can be a fun way to call to attention all the little (or maybe not so little) things we do that take away from our goal. “ (Van Zandt). Identify your time robbers and think up ways to prevent them. If you get up to get a drink repeatedly, have a bottle of water on standby. If you look out the window and get distracted, do not face the window. Silence notifications on your phone and set it out of reach.

 

 

 

3.      https://gpsparentseries.org/events/sarah-ward-kristen-jacobsen/

4.      Checklists are a marvelous tool for getting things done. They help surgeons perform their work successfully and pilots fly their planes. Make a list, you might have parts of a job listed (clean your room might include- dishes to dishwasher, dirty clothes to hamper, clean clothes to dresser/closet, school supplies on desk, bed made) and cross things off as you go.

5.      Establish routines. Bedtime might include pick up your toys, get backpack ready for school tomorrow, put electronic devices on charger, brush teeth, wash face, put on PJs, put dirty clothes in the hamper, read a story with an adult, go to bed. Coming home from school might be: have snack, go to the bathroom, do your homework, complete your chores. A checklist or picture schedule could be used to help ensure each step gets done. Once the child is very successful with the routine, you can wean them from the routine list. If they get off track, ask, “What is the next step?” Having routines for daily/ weekly tasks saves mental energy and ensures things get done.

6.      Get things Done (GTD) system- David Allen’s strategy is described by Rebekah Pierce is good for older children and adults and will require lots of training and support.

1.      Capture- write down all the things that need to be done. Electronics might be useful, or might be a distraction, you have to experiment to see what works for you. Photos or event reminders might be used. Todoist is an app that might be useful for older children and adults. Google calendar might be useful for some.

2.      Clarify-

1.      anything that needs 2 minutes or less, do now.

2.      Delegate what can/should be delegated

3.      Give it a due date

4.      Delete unimportant things

5.      Be specific as possible

3.      Organize- Categorize items (homework, chores, recreation,…) and determine the time needed to complete them

4.      Engage- do it

1.      Context- what can be done now (riding in the car you cannot compose a paper, but you might be able to listen to an audiobook)

2.      Time- how much time is available now. Match required time with available time

3.      Energy- how much energy do you have to complete the tasks. Put hard/demanding tasks when you have energy

4.      Priority- what is most important

5.      reflect

Source: https://lifesuccessforteenswebinar.com/training?utm_source=email&utm_medium=email+marketing&utm_campaign=Back+By+Popular+Demand:+Straight-A+Student+Tips+for+the+New+School+Year+%F0%9F%93%9A+(12-07-2025)

https://lunchbuddiesplus.wordpress.com/2018/04/19/time-robbers/

Van Zandt, L. (2017) https://eastersealsdfvr.wordpress.com/2017/06/13/executive-functioning-skills-co-op-model-part-3-time-robbers/

Executive function toolkit: Reading comprehension

 

Executive function skills are a set of skills that include working memory, flexible thinking and self-control. When reading, people must utilize both working memory and self-control to maintain focus. “Executive function challenges can interfere with reading comprehension as students struggle to maintain attention for engaged, active reading, formulate informational gestalts, make inferences, and organize details. “ (Cognitive Connections)

Regardless of their age or grade, children read better when they utilize active reading strategies. These strategies involve thinking about what you read and writing something down. Children often resist them because they “take more time,” failing to appreciate that when you read for information (fiction or nonfiction), it takes more time. These strategies help students to slow down and benefit from what they read. It creates a written document to remind them of the information that can be used to review, study or quickly reference details. The graphic organizers below are samples of those readily available on the web. Encourage your child to use strategies to develop their reading

1.      Somebody, wanted, but so/and, then summarization.

This strategy can be used in everyday life to practice. Ask your child to summarize a trip to the store, the park or a movie. The resulting summary can be only one or two sentences. Children could compete to provide the shortest version or the version with the most details or the one with the most interesting adjectives. They could tell made up stories using the format as well.

2.      Story maps range from simple to more complex. Children who are not adept at writing could draw pictures. When chapter books are encountered they can keep a running document to indicate the rising action (things that happen leading to the climax) to the climax (point of highest action, tension, or conflict; the turning point in a story) to the falling action (wrap up the end). These are great tools for older students who are going to have a test on a book that they read over a period of time because it keeps track of what happened. Students often forget story elements when they read longer books because it takes too long to read them or they read without paying attention  and fail to recognize the breakdown of comprehension.

 

 

3.      Summarization steps

1. Look for and list the key words and main ideas in each sentence or paragraph.
2. Draw a line under the main idea statements and most important ideas in the text.
3. Combine any ideas that can go into one sentence.
4. Number the ideas in order.
5. Write a summary in one or two sentences or one paragraph.
6. Read through and edit the summary.

 

4.      RAP 

1.      Read the passage

2.      Answer the questions. If there are no questions, turn subtitles into questions.

3.      Prove you are right

5.      Summarizing nonfiction:

1.      Text: what type of text is it

2.      Action and about: what is the purpose of the text

3.      Main idea: state the main idea (what is this passage about)

4.      Supporting Details: Back up your main idea with details