Parenting for High Potential hit the ball out of the park with their article from march 2021 entitled "How Parents Can Help Gifted Children Gradually Return to Reality-- Remembering our Goals" by Sylvia Rimm. As we all prepared to send out children back to school in increasing increments, it is not just the gifted children who need help with the adjustment. Much of the advice is similar to those we hear around August and the return to school:
- prepare for changes in daily routine- bedtime adjustments should be gradually implemented, new routines around things like homework and preparing to be ready for the morning (ex. backpacks assembled and outfits selected the night before).
- monitoring screen and phone time- have a phone charging station not in the bedroom. Instead of the phone alarm to get up, buy an inexpensive alarm clock, use parental settings to control access to phone time and social media.
- Gradual empowerment to positivity- to combat the depression and anxiety that have swollen during this time, encourage children to do things that build confidence like trying new things slowly, engaging physical exercise and slowly expanding the social circle in safe ways.
- Be coaches not judges- children will look to the models you provide for attitude and behavior. Showcase resiliency- we all stumble, show how to get up gracefully. Sometimes we all need help, don't be embarrassed to ask for what you need. Showcase flexibility. Help with problem solving instead of judging progress.
The other element of the article that makes it so strong is it's list of essential elements of organization. These are executive function skills that many students struggle with and need support. They include: putting like things together- practice by sorting clothes, socks, toys, silverware. go outside and come up with a way to sort flowers you see (number of leaves or petals, where they grow, height,...)
predicting time- play a guessing game. How long does it take to.. (brush your teeth, eat breakfast, vacuum the carpet, read a chapter in a book) then time yourself or your child doing it. How close were you?
scheduling- once you know how long it takes to do something, plan a schedule of what needs to be done. This could be anything from bedtime routines to plans on what to do Saturday or on vacation.
remembering- games like memory are awesome at working on this skill. Try a word of the day or week, pick a new interesting word, learn what it means and try to use it as often as you can in conversation.
prioritizing- talk about which is more important buying the groceries or a bigger cell phone plan and why. Starting to clean your room or doing laundry? Saving money for a new video game element or buying candy? Eating dinner or watching TV? Answer your sister's question or helping you with homework? Share how you decide and them have them share how they do it.
Eliminating- it might be time to go through the garage or toybox or closet and get rid of things that you do not use, are broken or do not fit. How do you decide when to throw away leftovers from the refrigerator. How do you decide what papers to remove from a folder and where do they go- trash or binder to store for reviewing for the final. These are all discussions as well as activities. Yes, it is harder and slower to involve the kids, but they need to learn the skills.
reviewing- this goes hand in hand with prioritizing, remembering and eliminating. How often do you need to review your vocabulary words? You made a plan for the weekend, review it Saturday morning to make sure everyone is on the same page.
Establishing good habits- For learning the key habits are health habits not study ones- get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet and exercise. Students who engage in these things do better in school. Then add things in the routines- routines become habits- brush your teeth everyday, wear deodorant, read labels on food, treat others well....
Maintain flexibility- habits and routines are important, but into every plan a wrench can be thrown. Someone needs stitches during someone's concert- it is disappointing to miss, but needs to be done. You heard about a event that means your plans need to change. A homework assignment did not get completed, so plans to go to the park must be adjusted. Just be careful to ensure that the plans and routines are what guide life most of the time.
Many articles and books have been written about executive function skills. Discover your child's areas of growth opportunity and help them to learn skills. They are likely your areas of weakness, too, so you might need to engage the help of someone who has them- a spouse, grandparent, neighbor, or friend, might be. a great resource and you can show that you are learning, too. These are the skills that will help them be productive adults in any area.